London Bridge is falling down

I was thrilled to read about the new Pride column which has been unveiled at London Bridge station last week in order to make it an inclusive space for everyone.

I had been worried about the plight of the homosexuals, transexuals, bisexuals, queers and non-binaries, unable, until now, to travel to work in the morning.

Slack no more LGBTQ+ brigade, you have been granted safe passage! 

We can only hope that Network Rail had the foresight to erect a huge cage for all the rabid right-wing bigots who foam at the mouth upon seeing homosexuals commute.

Equally thrilling was the news that 3 little girls at a Church of England school in Southeast England were encouraged to develop a friendship with a 4th little girl who had a penis and testicles. Better yet, neither the girls nor their parents knew. How wonderfully dishonest!

Bobby the little boy, was presented as Bobby the little girl because that’s how he felt and that’s what his parents wanted.  When the truth became hard to deny, and the 3 girls began to fall ill from the trauma inflicted upon them by the depth of deception of the trusted adults around them, they were told that they must “navigate this sensitive situation in an inclusive and caring way” because after all, the school is a Church of England school and as the Governor said, they have a duty to “…work with the school to support its inclusive Christian ethos”. 

Hear! Hear! Another win for inclusivity, at the bargain cost of the long-term mental health of 3 little cisgender girls.  Well, the cis have had it easy for far too long, it’s about time they toughened up - Cisssy-gendered more like!

To use Christianity to achieve this mass deception is a master stroke. So what if Jesus didn’t actually encourage us to deceive children, seek to affirm us in our sin and promote the erection of statues to the sin of pride.  Using vague terms like gospel values and Christian ethos gives the impression that he is on board, and that’s usually good enough.

Having dispensed with belief in the supernatural, our Christian faith becomes such a wonderful tool for pushing our own agendas.  Properly harnessed we have the power to enforce our own brilliant ideas whilst shaming dissenters into silence.  Congratulations must go to the numerous Christian leaders and teachers who have realised this and maximised its potential.

Christian schools adorned with pride flags, libraries promoting stories about the beauty of mutilation and inclusivity, and pliable young minds convinced that failing to accept 2+2=5 is incredibly mean and horrible are all testament to this astonishing victory. Quite a coup. Bravo indeed!

One worry, of course, is that some of the more insightful children might start to notice the incoherence of a policy of inclusion that necessarily excludes.  Another is that, if not careful, the Christian status which helpfully masks this otherwise bare-faced manipulation might be stripped away. 

Fortunately, there are a myriad of labels which can be plastered on, and drugs administered to, difficult children asking awkward questions like “Why does Emily pee standing up?”. Traditional stories that might reveal the truth can be replaced by new stories designed to reveal my ideas and given to kids from a very young age (ideally as they are learning to read) and there is a host of technology which can be used in and out of school to render children increasingly unable to distinguish between natural and unnatural, reality and fantasy.  

There is no need to fear school trips undermining the message, most museums and galleries seek the same objective and will promote it just as loudly as schools themselves.  A trip out of the city is more dangerous as children might discover a harmony in nature and start asking searching questions, but this can be pre-empted by reminding them how racist the countryside is and helping them narrow their focus to such injustice.

As for the convenient mask of Christianity, so useful to schools seeking the summum bonum of inclusivity, it is unlikely that this would be in jeopardy since there are enough highly intelligent, and very well-educated modern people who have used the mask themselves in order to get into leadership positions.  The last thing they would do is pull up the drawbridge behind them and leave others to drown.  If you can’t trust Christian school governors, who seek inclusivity at the expense of truth, who can you trust? 3 little girls and their families are left asking the same question.